Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Randomize
