Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
