Whod you bang
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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