Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
