sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Randomize