Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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