Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize