i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
