well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
