the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
