I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
