remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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