when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Randomize
