i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
