Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
