Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
