I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
