That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize