No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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