Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
babies were throwing up all over the place
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Randomize
