You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
and eventually we just all took our pants off
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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