My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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