Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
