none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
