your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
