we made out on top of his cat.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
