They have a pepper shaker for pot.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
