The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
so that wasnt chicken after all
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
