think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
