Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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