I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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