I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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