You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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