Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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