I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
