I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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