remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Randomize
