i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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