yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize