So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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