please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
