I molested 6 butterflies tonight
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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