I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Randomize
