the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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