i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
