WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
