shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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