should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize