no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
