I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
