Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
