I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
