I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
