they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
