It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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