Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
