Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
