this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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